


Trigger

by odaatlover



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Dysphoria, Masculine, NB Nic Haught, Nic Haught - Freeform, Nonbinary, Supportive Waverly, Wayhaught - Freeform, enby, engaged WayHaught, non-binary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odaatlover/pseuds/odaatlover
Summary: Nic is having a great day, until being misgendered turns it all around.(TW for dysphoria)
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 19
Kudos: 157





	Trigger

Nic walked through the front door and was instantly met with the sound of music coming from the kitchen. With a smile on their face, they went to investigate and came across exactly what they had expected – Waverly dancing along to the music as she scrubbed the dishes clean.

With a quiet laugh, Nic walked up behind their unsuspecting fiancée and grabbed her arm, spinning her around until they were facing each other. Waverly yelped and looked at Nic with wide eyes, but quickly giggled when they started dancing with her. The couple moved together in time, pausing only when Nic spun Waverly around a couple of times, and ended on the last beat of the song with a dip.

When Nic brought Waverly back up into a vertical position, the brunette hit the pause button on her phone to keep the next song from playing before wrapping her arms around the redhead and giving them a ‘welcome home’ kiss.

“You’re in a good mood.” Waverly beamed, and Nic couldn’t help but grin; not only because they really were in a good mood, but because Waverly’s smile was contagious.

“It was a really good day at work. Everyone at the station got my pronouns right, nobody called me ma’am when I gave out a few traffic tickets, and it was Lonnie’s birthday today so we got a delicious cake and devoured it all.” Nic grabbed an apple from the bowl and threw it up in the air before catching it as they sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m feeling pretty good.” They brought the apple up to their mouth and took a big bite, closing their eyes as they enjoyed the sweetness.

Waverly couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes Nic had really rough days, so when they looked genuinely happy like this it made her happy. “I’m glad you had such a good day, baby.” 

She walked up behind the redhead and wrapped her arms around their shoulders as she gave them a hug while placing a big kiss on their cheek, hoping to add to the good mood. “Have I ever told you how handsome you look I’m your uniform?” She ran her hands down the front of Nic’s uniform shirt over their flat chest, hoping that it would be as affirming as intended. 

“A few times.” Nic smiled as they looked down at Waverly’s hands on their body. They loved how masculine they looked in their uniform, and anytime Waverly pointed it out, especially with masculine adjectives, it gave them an extra boost of confidence.

Waverly dropped her hands down to Nics thighs and brushed her palms over the tops of them before sliding her right hand over the bulge between their legs. 

Nic closed their eyes and let out a small moan as Waverly repeatedly gave gentle squeezes of her hand, providing some stimulation. They didn’t always pack, but they did more often than not. Especially on days they wanted to be seen as more masculine.

Just as Nic was starting to get excited, Waverly removed her hand. “I need to go to the store to get stuff for dinner. Do you want to come with me?”

The redhead snapped opened their eyes and looked up at Waverly in confusion. “Seriously? You’re just going to get me all worked up like that and then stop to go to the store?”

Waverly shrugged innocently. She knew exactly what she was doing. “Well if you come with me to pick something out for dinner, then maybe I’ll finish what I started when we get back.”

Nic slowly shook their head as they stood up from the chair. “You’re such a tease, you know that?”

“Yep.” Waverly grabbed a dish towel and smacked Nic on the backside as they walked past her, laughing as she watched them run up the stairs to change out of their uniform.

As Nic rolled up the sleeves of their button up shirt, they looked over their outfit in the mirror, smiling at the way their favorite pair of jeans hid the curves of their thighs, and the way the shirt fell down by their sides to cover up the dip in their waist. They adjusted the packer to where it wasn’t super obvious, but obvious enough if someone was looking. Even though they were non-binary, they didn’t mind being seen as a man. All they cared about was not being seen as a woman, because that’s how they had been perceived their entire life. At least if someone misgendered them as a man, it didn’t make them feel dysphoric because it would mean that they were seen as masculine.

“Alright, ready to go,” Nic said as they trotted down the stairs.

“Even _more_ handsome.” Waverly shook her head while running her eyes over her fiancé’s body, earning an eye roll from the redhead — even though she knew they loved the compliment — as the couple walked out to the car.

As soon as they got to the store, Nic hopped out of the driver’s seat and grabbed Waverly’s hand with a huge grin on their face. Waverly looked up at the redhead with a smile and hugged their arm for a couple of seconds as they walked through the parking lot hand-in-hand. 

When they walked through the doors, they noticed one of the employees greet them with a small head nod.

“Evening,” Nic said with a bright smile.

“Evening, ladies.” The man smiled back.

Nic’s stomach dropped as they felt all of the positive energy rushing out of their body and quickly being replaced with a feeling of heaviness. Their smile faded as they let go of Waverly to shove their hands in the pockets of their jeans. They went from feeling extremely confident and excited to go out, to suddenly not wanting to be noticed by anyone in less than a second.

Waverly knew what the problem was. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, and every time it had the same effect. She looked up at the redhead sympathetically. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Nic quickly replied.

“Okay.” Waverly nodded, knowing that meant they didn’t want to talk about it. She always opened up the dialogue in case they ever did want to talk about it, but never pushed when they didn’t, which was most of the time.

As the couple continued to walk towards the produce section, Nic looked around at the people looking that them. Of course, they weren’t looking at them for any particular reason. It was just quick glances out of curiosity, like people normally do when passing by a stranger. But every time someone looked at Nic, it made them feel vulnerable. Before, they had thought that everyone saw them for who they were, especially with the binder and the packer, plus their fairly recent short haircut. But after being called a lady, they felt like everyone was looking at the wrong part of them; the female part that they were so desperately trying to hide. And suddenly, it felt like that part of them was on full display, and they couldn’t take it anymore.

“Do you mind if I just go wait in the car?” Nic asked.

“That’s fine.” Waverly smiled, hoping to provide some sort of reassurance. “Do you have any preferences for dinner?”

“Just whatever you want.” Nic shrugged before walking off.

Waverly sighed, feeling completely helpless. She knew there wasn’t much she could do in these kinds of situations, no matter how badly she wanted to help. 

When Nic got back to the car, they slammed the door shut in frustration and rubbed their hands over their face as they let out a deep breath. They tried really hard to hold back the tears, as crying made them feel even more feminine, as ridiculous as that was. Of course everyone cries and everyone is allowed to cry, but because of the way society makes it seem like more of a womanly thing, it was the last thing they wanted to do right now. They hated giving into that sort of toxic masculinity, but they couldn’t help that it made them feel less masculine in a moment like this.

When Waverly finally got back to the car, she noticed Nic sitting there quietly, looking out the windshield completely lost in thought.

“He’s just a stranger, babe. He couldn’t have known,” Waverly said, trying to say something to make Nic feel better.

“That’s the worst part though. Even with all of this...” Nic waved their hand over their outfit, “Even with me trying as hard as I can to hide my body and look more like myself, strangers still see a woman.” They sighed as they rested their head against the back of the seat. “I’m not mad at him. It’s just frustrating that no matter how hard I try, people still don’t see me.”

Waverly placed her hand on top of Nic’s thigh as she looked at them. “ _I_ see you.”

“I know you do.” Nic placed their hand on top of Waverly’s. “And I really appreciate that. But it makes me wonder, would you still see me if you didn’t know me? Or is it only because I told you what to look for?”

Waverly paused, caught off guard by the question. She didn’t know how to answer it. “Why does it matter?”

“Because I shouldn’t have to always tell people who I am in order to be seen. I want people to look at me and see Nic, not...Nicole.” They sighed. “Imagine if you were stuck in the wrong body. Imagine if you were stuck in Wynonna’s body, and people only saw you as Wynonna, no matter how Waverly-like you dressed or acted. Every time a stranger looked at you they saw someone else, and the people who do know you have to keep being reminded that you’re Waverly until they eventually remember on their own and see past Wynonna’s body.”

Waverly furrowed her brow as she mentally put herself in the situation. She had never thought about it like that before. “Okay, you’re right. That would really suck.”

“I feel trapped in a body that’s not mine. It doesn’t just suck, it’s torture.” They shook their head.

Waverly swallowed thickly. She didn’t want them to feel that way anymore. “So what do you want to do?”

As Nic released all of the air out of their lungs through their nose, they licked their lips. “I want to start hormones.”

Waverly slightly tilted her head. “Like, testosterone?” She had come across hormone replacement therapy when she did a ton of research after Nic came out as non-binary, so a part of her had always prepared for the idea that they might want something like that. But it was still a bit of a surprise.

“Yeah.” The redhead glanced over at Waverly. “I’ve been thinking about if for a while, and recently figured out that it’s something I want. And not just because of other people, but because I want to feel more like myself. I don’t want to feel trapped anymore. I think it would really help with my dysphoria.” They paused for a moment before adding in a softer voice, “I’ve been waiting for the right time to talk to you about it.”

Waverly smiled as she laced her fingers through Nicole’s, giving their hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

“If this is what’s going to help you feel more like you, then I fully support you.”

“Are you sure? It’s okay if you have reservations about it. It’s a big change. My body is going be different. It’ll look less like a woman.”

“Well isn’t that the point?” Waverly chuckled. 

“Yeah.” Nicole let out a short laugh, feeling relieved that Waverly was taking the news so well.

“I just want you to be happy, and I think this is something that’s going to make you really happy. I don’t want you to feel trapped in your own body. I don’t want you to feel suffocated anymore. I want you to feel like you, because everyone should feel that way.”

Nic smiled as they brought Waverly’s hand up to their lips for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now let’s go home. I got some steak since I know it’s your favorite, even though the vegan in me was trying to convince me not to buy it.” She playfully shook her head.

“Thank you, love.” Nic smiled in appreciation. “And maybe we could still have some sexy time?” They bounced their eyebrows a couple of times.

“Only if you’re up for it.”

“Honestly, I think it might make me feel a little better. Especially if you let me come inside you.” A smirk spread across their face.

“Well then we _definitely_ better get home then.”


End file.
